Life has high and lows. For every one of us – without exceptions.
While emotions are indicators, the feelings (good or bad) are natural consequence of these emotions. Some feelings easily pass, while some take longer to vanish, some stay on or leave their residue (bitter or better) behind.
Being caught up in low-feeling state is natural and human, but it doesn’t feel good. A good-feeling state – of Joy, freedom, empowerment, love and appreciation is what we all want, always, forever if possible.
There are times when all is going well yet nothing feels okay, one simply wants to give up, or cry, or let go but the feeling just doesn’t go despite trying everything. At this time thoughts, self-talk and actions becomes negative otherwise the thoughts, actions etc. are generally positive.
Listed below could be some of the reasons for this:
- Drudgery, routine, boredom: most of our daily chores/rituals, usually run in an autopilot mode. Any contrast in the autopilot mode leaves us bewildered and disturbed.
- Hormonal and bodily changes: a natural phenomenon
- Facing Rejections
- Feeling trapped: Inflexibility or approaching task/s, event/s, situation/s in a certain controlled way or old ways.
- Missing deadlines, poor quality of work and delivery: Overwhelming long list of tasks
- Feeling pessimistic: Long detrimental core old beliefs not finding its fit
- Time/Money: When one is wanting to make the most of time and money in hand. Thinking of how to invest, spend and save for higher returns.
Sometimes, we feel ‘low’, and we know the reason, other times we don’t. As we start ruminating the whys of this emotional state, it becomes paralysing.
BUT! one can rise high on the emotional scale, from low. REMEMBER! All feelings are okay. As per the psychologists: When one resists a feeling, they inadvertently remain stuck in the same feeling. When one accepts the feelings, it is gone soon, sometimes in as little as 2-5 minutes! So, allow yourself your emotions and experience them but at the same time do not let the emotions overpower or decide the actions.
As one waits for the positive emotions to surface and the motivation, one has to go on taking small and healthy actions, intentionally. Motivation comes once one starts taking baby steps towards healthy actions. When the intent is positive the outcome is also positive.
What are these healthy actions? This is a small suggestive list:
- Be your own silent companion. (you can choose to be alone and not lonely)
- Treat yourself as a child, the inner-child inside of you needs a positive parenting from you.
- Be gentle and kind in the process.
- Do not question yourself in a bothering way. Release all resistance
- Keep low or no expectations from self or others and simply enjoy the process.
- Allow things to happen organically, with healthy doses of love & support for yourself.
- Allow the release of accumulated unhealthy and unsettled energy from your system. It does pass if you approach it in a helpful way.
Ignoring how you are feeling is self-abandonment.
“The best way to come back home to ourselves is to cultivate space to be with our emotions without judgment”, Thais Sky.
How can we help ourselves in the moments like these in a healthy, happy and comforting way?
- Begin by thanking this feeling for having shown up. Now give yourself some time to listen to this feeling. It is an opportunity really, by-products of the experience would be – strength, clarity, positivity.
- Slow down, relax.
- Opt for a break from whatever you are doing, if possible.
- Keep comforting yourself. Give yourself a tight hug & hold yourself tightly for 10 seconds.
- Meditate or do some deep breathing exercise (“Breathe in and out gently- 10 times”, mindfully, ‘breathing’ being the anchor).
- Be your best companion at this time. Become your own friend. Few physical actions that may support you at this time are mentioned below:
In a nutshell: given by ‘Big Life Journal’
S: Stop what you are doing
T: Take a few deep breaths
O: Observe your thoughts and feelings as they are
P: Proceed with whatever you were doing before
Affirmative lines to say to oneself at this time:
I adopt self-compassion and experience my emotions. I lovingly support myself in making the progressive shift for myself. I choose comforting and nourishing thoughts at all times. It feels good to feel that way. Ideas flows easily and effortlessly. I am blessed with abundant choices. I willingly do what I enjoy doing to feel better and better. I trust the whole process working out for me. This phase too shall pass. I am safe. And all is well.
Enjoy the process! The outcome of feeling lighter would come to conscious awareness.
Please Note! following above steps alone would not work for those who are on depressants, grieving the loss, feeling despair, feeling vengeful etc. Medical interventions and psychologists’ guidance becomes important and must not be avoided at any cost.