E -> ‘F’: Let your ‘E’go go away and find a ‘F’riend within!

“While it may seem small, the ripple effects of small things are extraordinary”-Matt Bevin

The virtue of progress in alphabet series, from letter ‘E’ to letter ‘F’, would help you live an extraordinary life for yourself. Don’t believe me! Let me take you on this ride.

Let us try answering a few of the many questions that life throws at us:

  1. What are the ego and its impact on self?
  2. What forms of barriers are encountered when one doesn’t let go of the ego?
  3. How to handle the ego or self-righteousness?
  4. What is the process of growth work?
  5. What general affirmations can bring about the change?
  1. The term “Ego” is at best a form of resistance. EGO which could be an acronym for ‘Everyone’s Greatest Obstacle’ creates havoc in several ways- causes a delay in the bonding inside out and blocks the acceptance within a person. Ego poses a barrier to positive actions and self-growth, hinders cultivating a helpful attitude. Ego has physical ramifications also, it creeps into the body-healing mechanisms, not only blocks the acceptance of the change process in any form, it causes a delay in embracing the life processes. Egotistical misplaced confidence doesn’t allow a person true self-love, hence eventually impacting their evolution.

  2. Ego shows up in our actions in the form of non-verbal cues, assumptions, limiting beliefs, blames, excuses, self-concepts derived from past experiences, denial tactics, denial to change, and fears/insecurities.

    Some of the typical examples manifested as a result of an inflated ‘EGO’ from our day to day activities are:
    – arriving/leaving late
    – illnesses
    – procrastination
    – inhibitions, limiting beliefs
    – binging (too much eating, drinking or smoking)
    easily creating/ending a relationship
    – nervousness
    – assuming things to be too late/ too early/ too old/ too young/too weak
    – fear of losing friends and family
    – fear in expressing views freely
    – fear of losing self-image,
    – fear of society, and others.


  3. Next step is acknowledging or becoming aware of it and then recognizing the form of ego. Half of the work is already accomplished in being aware when the ego-self comes to the surface. One must try filtering it by being mindful of their highest good. Remember, these are small steps up the ladder to fulfil the highest, the most truthful version of oneself! Being gentle and willing in assisting the resistance during the change process is the best one can do, as these stem from the years of living in a certain way and then follow the tool given below.

  4. The growth-work tool is a method/device helping you realise your highest potential and working on your ego issues both personal and professional. Here is what one can do:
    a)    Dissociate from the event/experience, swiftly shifting the focus inwards. Then, with willingness work on silencing the thoughts, bringing them to stillness. It can be achieved by anchoring your attention on your breath, for at least five minutes.
    b)    Work on raising the positive vibrational energy inside (mind and body). Followed by deep breathing exercises. There are several ways to achieve a lift in the vibrations within, such as by drinking water, chanting “Aum”, meditation, yoga. Feel the vibrational energy, keeping your focus inwards at all times.
    c)    Say/Sing affirmations*-out loud or in mind or in the mirror, whatever works best. The affirmations could be resistance-specific or general change ones. Affirmations are positive statements framed in the present tense.
    d)    Bring the focus back and become mindful to the outside event.

    Any growth-work and affirmations show their outcomes when practised in the state of absolute stillness. One analogy to explain the above line in a better way is, one cannot climb on the hand-pushed merry-go-round when it is in its highest momentum. The chances of getting thrown off the moving merry-go-round are very high. So, when the speed slows down or when it comes to rest that’s when one can prefer climbing on.

    When Ego resides inside, your best Friend ‘YOU’ is somewhere outside in the world. In other words, you are not friends with yourself. The negative energy hence created has a ripple effect that starts crippling you and also impacts the world outside of you. When you begin working on your ego; friendships and relationships improve manifold. You see the progress – the word starting with the letter ‘E’-Ego changing to the word beginning with the letter ‘F’-Friend.

    Shift from ‘E’ to ‘F’. As ego starts going out, everything begins to fall in place – friendship or bonding with oneself, bonding in relationships, in health, at the workplace, with finances, in career and in general with people around oneself – a holistic shift in body, mind and soul. A continuous practise with this growth work tool one can get you to the non-egoistical state. A person befriends, embraces herself and accepts herself exactly as she is and all of the life processes. It will not happen overnight or happen one hundred per cent, but anyone can choose to live a fulfilling life experience as opposed to hurtful, painful and heart-breaking ones.

    Three letter word (EGO) goes away making space for six-letter word (FRIEND). Double the benefit when this shift happens in a person. IT IS A PART OF SELF-LOVE PRACTISE.

  5. General affirmations to work on resistance:
    “I am willing to work on the release process and self-growth.”
    “I am flexible and flowing.”
    “I am ever-growing in a kind & gentle manner.”
    “I choose nourishing thoughts only.”
    “The change process is smooth and easy for me.”

    When one learns to take responsibility for her thoughts, feelings and words; she receives the learnings and moves forward with less to no resistance in life.

    * “You would find true success and happiness if you only have one goal and that is this: That is of fulfilling the highest, the truthful expression of yourself, as a human being. You want to max out your humanity by using your energy to lift yourself, your family and the people around you.” – An excerpt from Oprah Winfrey’s speech. If a person resonates her life purpose with above-quoted lines, one would want to work on the EGO and Enjoy Growing Optimistically.  

References:

  • You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay
  • Motivational videos of Oprah Winfrey