The Purest Bond-
In a world where we get so lost, absorbed in daily chores and activities, we have mother’s-day that reminds us of the power of loving care there is. Mother’s day restores our faith in the power of love.
And here’s a poem for all mothers and mother-like figures out there –
‘Just like Four Seasons
Spring, Summers, Fall and Winters
In a year
She is all Four Seasons
Every day
From fresh and breezy
To fuming and fretted
From calm and collected
To cold and stony
But nurturing and caring always’
Celebrating motherhood every day…
(☝️ poem ©2020 Pallavi Prakash Kumar)
The bond between a mother and her child is eternal. It remains unchanged and is unconditional. The purest form of love is when a mother holds her baby for the first time and it only increases after that. Every time a baby is born, a mother does too.
Holding my baby for the first time was such a divine feeling that that day’s soulful zing, despite the labour pains and surgery, I can feel the reverberation of happiness streaming in every cell of my body, even today. To receive the purest form of love in two hands is an unforgettably exceptional feeling to have for a mother…
When babies are born, they are a clean slate, pure as divine in all their essence. They know no one, not even their parents. They certainly don’t know any right or wrong, good or bad ways to interact with the world. So, they do what comes naturally to them and develop into a fine specimen of a human. It is our art of parenting that can assist the art of living in our children and in their becoming of what they want to BE as a Being.
And how it begins-
The concept of attachment in infants begins when they are inside their mother’s womb. It is hypothesized that an infant’s attachment with its mother grows stronger each day. This attachment grows stronger and stronger with time and corresponds overwhelmingly with age.
Not exaggerating, I have experienced the connection and the feelings of attachment with my little one much before the actual conception manifested. The nature of the menstrual cycle, changes in the daily preferences, bodily preparation, and rise in caring instincts all had started paving its way for the new way of life, for a new creation to take place, well in advance. And when the actual conception sowed its seed, and positive reports of pregnancy were around, I knew that these reports were a mere reaffirmation to the cues that were already orchestrating. Voila, bun in the oven! and then Drumrolls in the family begins!!!
I completely believe that the mother-infant relationship is a prime opportunity for early intervention and prevention. The fetus experiences the mother’s life. It means that the foetus can perceive aspects of her life and get shaped by her thoughts, beliefs and experiences. And one of the most joyous moments for an expectant mother is to have a moment of getting access to the fetus through ultrasound and receiving positive acknowledgements from the fetus kick-boxes. It reminds that the special mother-child relationship is starting.😊
Motherhood is an opportunity, celebrate motherhood-
In the upcoming two points, I want to share with you how a change in the perspective and a change in the narrative around motherhood and the way we mother can bring about a big shift in your parenting style and improve your relationship with your little one/s for the good.
So here they are, life-altering perspectives and narrative change that I have constantly reminded myself of to evolve as a person, as a conscious parent and to bond more meaningfully with my little one:
- Perfect parents and Mothers as Superheroes to ‘Mothers as Celebration‘ or ‘Celebrate motherhood’
- Motherhood is challenging to ‘Motherhood is an oppourtunity‘
The expansion of the above thoughts is here, in the following paragraphs, stay with me and please read on.
Mothers as Celebration-
Mothers hold the central part of life for all. It’s natural to turn to mothers during an emotional affair, be it a bad day or a successful one. It is because mothers are the foundation of all the emotions. From the gift of life to the gift of home and education, a mother does the best for her children in her best capacity possible.
But narratives like ‘Mothers as Superheroes’ and ‘Perfect parents’ need to change now. We hear countless stories of moms giving up their education or jobs, in some cases taking more than one job to make their children flourish; single mothers fighting harder to fulfil the needs of their children. These narratives aren’t serving mothers or the upcoming generation well.
First, the weight of these stories wouldn’t let a mother operate from a space of joy, abundance or self-fulfilment. Second, she would always feel the burden of her repressed or bottled emotions coming on the way in raising her child happily. Third, she would get exhausted easily, later resentful in running her errands peacefully. And as children always learn by examples, in scenarios like these, the example presented to them is not a healthy one.
To raise our children to be free and happy, and emotionally healthy, it’s important mothers work on their inner beliefs, learned behaviours, self-worth and self-esteem. They must first take care of their physical, mental and emotional well-being before catering to others.
I, as a mother, resonate with the excerpts from Louise Hay’s book ‘Empowering Women’ a lot and here it goes:
“The best thing parents/mothers can do for their children is to learn to love themselves, for children always learn by example. That ways, parents/mothers will have a better life, and their children will have a better life, too.”
And if the above perspective moves you also internally, start taking small steps for a better future of you and your little ones, today. Peel off the layers of burdening inner beliefs and thoughts that ain’t serving you, embrace yourself the way you are and accept where you are, help yourself in healing the unhealed parts of you and BE the change for yourself. Know that it is safe to love oneself and the Universe has your back. And if you are already working on yourselves keep at it dear one, things only get better and better.
I will be sharing my everyday self-love practices in a blog soon.
Motherhood is an opportunity-
Motherhood is the most beautiful gift in the world. But it does come with its shares of responsibilities and gamut of emotions to be managed along the way; many unlearning of inner beliefs and learned behaviours happen along the way. A mother caters to a lot of things in a day’s time along with her work and daily activities, at the same time fulfilling the needs of her children, such as cooking, cleaning, schooling, changing diapers, playing games, planning activities, reading and repeat. It’s easy to get overwhelmed during the journey, and it does leave a mother feeling adrift, untethered, clueless many a time.
Despite the challenges, a mother caters to her responsibilities wholeheartedly. Mothers have an innate sense of nurturing and caring. After all, she is the epitome of creation which she wears in all its glory like a crown.
And if we just remind ourselves on a timely basis that “The challenge of parenting/motherhood is a great opportunity for spiritual awakening. Becoming a fully conscious parent is the greatest gift to give a child.” (Quoted by Eckhart Tolle), we would be able to get along with things more easily, peacefully and happily.
From a mother-
The mother-child relationship is the purest bond that I could get to experience. I feel blessed and contented as a mother. Beginning my day with an anchor thought that my child chose me as one of his first spectators, cheerleader and contributor for his smiles, soul’s expansion, and a partner for co-creation fills my heart with words of gratitude and appreciation. What better gift could have I asked for from the Universe! I very deliberately (the intent is most of the time) choose contributing, complimenting, and celebrating the co-creation as an avid cheerleader, avid spectator and avid contributor in the growth and expansion as a Being with him.
I am happy to be sharing my experiences, my perspectives with you! Feel free to leave your thoughts in the comment section below.
And thank you for reading! Happy Mother’s Day! And Happy Parenting!